Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
