I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
