Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Swine flu. Run for my life!
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize