You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
