I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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