I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
