Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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