i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
