I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
