Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The adults are the big ones right?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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