that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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