Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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