well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I cut my penus on the lid.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
