non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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