after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
