i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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