Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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