I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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