dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
