I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize