Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
