I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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