She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize