Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
it was like eating out sand paper
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
