Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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