I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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