Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize