I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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