Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
