I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
