last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The uberlube is also flammable
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
