I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
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I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Vodka?
Forever.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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