history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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