Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
