so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
