i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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