Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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