how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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