I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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