I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
