3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
