i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
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i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
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I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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