I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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