that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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