I love black thongs
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
