If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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