if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
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When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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