Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
