i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize