NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
