If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
