Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Who died my cat blue again?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
