Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
