i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
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I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
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He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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