I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
