We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
