I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
never play flip cup with pint glasses
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
