when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
