in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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