i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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