She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
