Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
do herpes really smell.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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