i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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