I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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