Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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